Capsule Labels/Known Label Text

Capsule labels feature a span of dummy text to fill space, usually an in-universe piece of text followed by a joke piece of text. This is a list of every known variation on this text.

Editor's Note: This page contains spelling errors, however, this is intentional, as the original labels also sometimes featured spelling or grammatical errors. Please do not edit spelling errors from this page.

1. TNG Labels 5-Label Page

These labels have been spotted on a 5-sticker column sheet, in the standard Red/Brown/Blue colors from TNG. The headers and numbers from this sheet appear on other sheets with different body text.

• 855 | ACCESS PANEL 78-0067
  • REFER SERVICING TO QUALIFIED STARFLEET TECHNICIANS. NO USER SERVICEABLE PARTS
  • INSIDE. REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE.

• 451 | AUXILIARY SYSTEMS 32-2398
  • CAUTION: OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR TO BE. A STITCH IN
  • TIME SAVES NINE. IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.

• 042 | ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS 01-1865
  • DON'T TUG ON SUPERMAN'S CAPE. DON'T SPIT INTO THE WIND. DON'T PULL THE
  • MASK OFF THE OLD LONE RANGER, AND YOU DON'T MESS AROUND WITH JIM.

• 954 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND KILOMETERS PER SECOND. IT'S NOT JUST A GOOD
  • IDEA, IT'S THE LAW. YOUR ACTUAL MILEAGE MAY VARY, OF COURSE.

• 302 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
  • JUST SIT RIGHT BACK AND YOU'LL HEAR A TALE, A TALE OF A FATEFUL TRIP, THAT
  • STARTED FROM THIS TROPIC PORT, ABOARD THIS TINY SHIP...

• 
  TNG-Era Labels
• 
  VOY-Era Labels using the TNG-era text
• 
  VOY-Era silver variant

2. TNG Labels 2-Column Page

A 9 label x 2 column sheet in TNG brown. Some of the labels repeat within this sheet, so only one occurrence is transcribed

• 302 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
  • YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, IS TO GO BOLBDY WHERE NO ONE
  • HAS GONE BEFORE. THIS LABEL WILL SELF-DISTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS. GOOD LUCK, JIM

• 723 | LCARS TERMINAL 42-2966 ALPHA CHARLIE-1
  • LIBRARY COMPUTER ACCESS AND RETRIEVAL SYSTEM
  • PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE - WHICH ONE'S THE ANY KEY?

• 855 | ACCESS PANEL 78-0067
  • REFER SERVICING TO QUALIFIED STARFLEET TECHNICIANS. NO USER-SERVICABLE PARTS
  • INSIDE - REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE

• 239 | PERSONAL ACCESS DISPLAY DEVICE
  • STARFLEET R&D SAN FRANCISCO, PLANET EARTH. SOL SECTOR
  • COMBADGES, I DON'T NEED NO STINKING COMBADGES

• 451 | AUXILIARY SYSTEMS 32-2398
  • CAUTION: OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR TO BE. A STICH IN
  • TIME SAVES NINE. IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.

• 954 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND KILOMETERS PER SECOND: IT'S NOT JUST A GOOD
  • IDEA, IT'S THE LAW. YOU ACTUAL MILAGE MAY VARY, OF COURSE.

• 
  9x2 brown sheet

3. VOY/Film Era 3-Column Page

These stickers are printed in columns, with 8 stickers per column, generally 2-3 columns. This layout only seems to be used for VOY and later episodes and shows.

The reference to South Park dates this sheet to 1997 onwards.

• 806 | TERTIARY SUBSYSTEM 67-517
  • SAFETY PROCEDURES MUST BE OBSERVED PRIOR TO OPENING THIS COMPARTMENT. IN
  • THE EVENT OF A WATER LANDING, THIS UNIT MAY BE USED AS A FLOTATION DEVICE.

• 321 | ACCESS PANEL 22-329
  • CONTAINS ACTIVE OPTICAL DATA NETWORK ELEMENTS. DO NOT REMOVE THIS PANEL
  • WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION FROM CHIEF ENGINEER. JANE, STOP THIS CRAZY THING!

• 302 | ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS 24-505
  • CONTAINS COMPONENTS CRITICAL TO ENVIRONMENTAL CONTROL SYSTEMS. WILE E.
  • COYOTE, SUPERGENIUS. I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. WILE E. COYOTE, SUPERGENIUS!

• 927 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SERVICE THIS MODULE WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION FROM CHIEF
  • ENGINEER OR OPERATIONS OFFICE. MY GOD, THE BASTARDS HAVE KILLED KENNY!

• 047 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
  • CAUTION: OPERATING PROTOCOL 95-7574 REQUIRES FULL REDUNDANCY FOR ALL
  • PRIMARY DATA FEEDS. BE VEWY, VEWY QWIET, I'M HUNTING WABBITS. HEH HEH HEH!

• 855 | ACCESS PANEL 46-102
  • NO USER SERVICABLE PARTS INSIDE. THEY FIGHT AND BITE, THEY FIGHT AND FIGHT
  • AND BITE, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT, BITE BITE BITE, IT'S THE ITCHY & SCRATCHY SHOW.

• 954 | EMERGENCY ACCESS ONLY 83-152
  • WARNING: SEVERE PLASMA HAZARD. DO NOT ACCESS WHEN PRIMARY WARP DRIVE
  • SYSTEMS ARE IN USE. I TOUGHT I TAW A PUTTY TAT. I DID, I DID TEE A PUTTY TAT!

• 451 | AUXILIARY SYSTEMS 95-610
  • CAUTION: THESE SYSTEMS FOLLOW A GNDN OPERATING PROTOCOL. WHO HOLDS BACK
  • THE ELECTRIC CAR? WHO MAKES STEVE GUTTENBERG A STAR? WE DO, WE DO!

• 
  VOY-Era 8-Row Labels
• 
  Film-Era 8-Row Labels in Gold.
• 
  Film Era with gold text and brown background
• 
  Silver background variant
• 
  Gold on red variant

4. Medium VOY/Film-Era 2-Column Page

These labels are spotted on a gold version of the medium labels introduced for the TNG-era films. Features 2 columns and 8 labels per column. The only photo known of this sheet style is very low quality, and this section needs clarification.

• 014 | SUBSYSTEM 62-3845 MAINTENANCE ACCESS / GT:04:003:171A
  • CAUTION: EPS POWER TRANSMISSION GRIDS POTENTIALLY PRODUCE HAZARDOUS RADIATION FIELDS IN THE 4.3 E 07 NKZ RANGE. (needs verification)
  • PROPER CONTAINMENT MEASURES MUST BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT WHEN UTILIZING SENSOR PALLET MODULATION. SOMETHING FAMILIAR, SOME-
  • THING PECULIAR, SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE, A COMEDY TONIGHT. NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE.

• 112 | AUXILIARY SYSTEMS ACCESS 74-32834 / LATERAL MODULE 479A
  • OPERATIONAL PROCEDURES CD 554-038A ALLOW ACESS TO THESE CONDUITS TO ONLY CERTIFIED ENGINEERING STAFF. ALPHA TEAM MEMBERS
  • FOR SHIFTS B AND C REPORT TO OPERATIONS MANAGER. A TEAM MEMBERS OPERATING BLACK CHEVROLET RUNS WITH RED STRIPES CONDUIT
  • NETWORK OFFICIAL REGARDING USE OF GOLD JEWELRY, OLD CIGARS, AND OUTLANDISHLY RIDICULOUS PERSONALITIES. TUES AFTER FALL GUY.

• 139 | OPTICAL DATA NETWORK SYSTEMS ACCESS / JOS 325A
  • ISOLINEAR DATA MODULES PRESENT IN THIS SYSTEM MUST BE MAINTAINED ON POWER, EVEN DURING NORMAL SYSTEMS MAINTENANCE
  • AND DIAGNOSTIC PROTOCOLS. THERE IS A FIFTH DIMENSION, BEYOND THAT WHICH IS KNOWN TO MAN. IT IS THE MIDDLE GROUND BETWEEN
  • LIGHT AND SHADOW, BETWEEN SCIENCE AND SUPERSTITION. THIS IS THE DIMENSION OF IMAGINATION. AN AREA WE CALL THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

• 321 | EPS POWER DISTRIBUTION NODE 844.3 / JOS 325A
  • STARFLEET TRANSFER PROTOCL SFTP 11217, CORRIDOR ACESS PANEL OPEN ON A TWO-ONE-SEVEN RATIO, REQUIRING A COOLING SERIES OF
  • INTERLOCK FUNCTIONS. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR TELEVISION SET. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ADJUST THE PICTURE. WE WILL CONTROL
  • THE HORIZONTAL. WE WILL CONTROL THE VERTICAL. FOR THE NEXT HOUR, WE WILL CONTROL ALL THAT YOU SEE AND HEAR.

• 302 | ENVIRONMENTAL SUBSYSTEMS ACCES / MODULE 585.34
  • ACCESS TO ENVIRONMENTAL SUBSYSTEMS ONLY WITH AUTHORIZATION OF DUTY ENGINEER OR OPERATIONS OFFICER. JUST SIT RIGHT BACK AND
  • YOU'LL HEAR A TALE, A TALE OF A FATEFUL TRIP. THAT STARTED FROM THIS TROPIC PORT, ABOARD THIS TINY SHIP. THE MATE WAS A MIGHTY
  • SAILIN' MAN, THE SKIPPER BRAVE AND SURE. FIVE PASSENGERS SET SAIL THAT DAY ON A THREE-HOUR TOUR. A THREE HOUR TOUR.

• 321 | CAUTION: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY / SFRA PROTOCOL 585.34
  • VECTORED EXHAUST CHAMBERS UTILIZE DRIVER COIL ASSEMBLY SYSTEMS SIMILAR TO LATERAL PHASE INDUCERS. REGULATED PARTICLE
  • EMISSIONS TEND TO VARY IN THE EVENT OF EVENTUAL EVENTUALITIES WHICH EVENTUALLY EVACUATE EVACUATION EDUCATORS. AMBULATOR
  • ATTRACTION OF ACTUAL ARRANGED ARRAYS ASSEMBLE ANTI-IONIC PARTICLES PERMEATING PASSIVE PRESSURE POWER PORTS.

• 451 | CALIBRATION INSTRUCTIONS FOR MODULE GT:04:003:171A
  • THIS UNIT REQUIRES INDEPENDENT VERIFICATION OF CALIBRATION USING TRICORDER REFERENCE STANDARD 349.2 UNLESS AUTHORIZED
  • BY DUTY SCIENCE OFFICER OR OPERATIONS OFFICER. PHASE ALIGNMENT MUST BE VERIFIED PRIOR TO ANY MISSION CRITICAL OPERATION
  • OR SCIENTIFIC DATA GATHERING APPLICATION. SURELY YOU'RE JOKING, MISTER FEYNMAN.

• 221 | CAUTION: SUBSPACE FLUX RADIATION HAZARD / PROTOCOL 479A
  • UNPROTECTED EXPOSURE TO THIS UNIT MAY RESULT IN INJURY DUE TO SUBSPACE FLUX IN EXCESS OF 30.0 MC/MR. OPEN THE POD BAY DOOR
  • HAL. I'M SORRY, DAVE, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT. DAVE, STOP. WILL YOU STOP, DAVE? I'M AFRAID, DAVE. MY MIND IS GOING. I CAN
  • FEEL IT. I CAN FEEL IT. THERE IS NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. I CAN FEEL IT. I'M AFRAID.

• 
  Medium Film-era stickers. Two identical columns.
• 
  Alternate colour scheme
• 
  Gold Variant

5. VOY-Era 2x3 Page

These labels were printed on a sheet of 2 columns of 3 rows of Voyager era silver labels. The reference to South Park dates this sheet to 1997 onwards.

• 613 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • WARNING: THIS UNIT CONTAINS ACTIVE OPTICAL DATA NETWORK ELEMENTS
  • HOW'S MY DRIVING? CALL 1-800-STARFLEET

• 819 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
  • DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SERVICE THIS MODULE WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION.
  • I'M WITH STUPID

• 752 | PRIMARY SERVICE ACCESS 08-2658
  • CAUTION OPERATING PROTOCAL REQUIRES FULL REDUNDANCY FOR ALL
  • PRIMARY DATA FEEDS. IF U CN RD THS LBL U CN GT A GD JB AT STRFLT CMD.

• 845 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • WARNING: CONSULT PROTOCOL SC-2812 BEFORE OPENING THIS PANEL.
  • MY CHILD WAS CADET OF THE MONTH AT STARFLEET ACADEMY.

• 941 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
  • WARNING: WHO'S THE BLACK PRIVATE DICK THAT'S A SEX MACHINE TO ALL
  • THE CHICKS? I'M TALKING 'BOUT SHAFT!

• 201 | PRIMARY GNDN ACCESS 62-6335
  • WARNING: OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
  • THEY KILLED KENNY! THOSE BASTARDS!

• 
  Silver sheet two different columns
• 
  Closeup of sheet
• 
  Additional closeup of Sheet
• 
  Sheet section
• 
  Gold variant
• 
  Also gold variant

6. Film-Era 3 column Page

This sheet is dated to 1995 onwards due to reference to Toy Story

• 806 | TERTIARY SUBSYSTEM 45-784
  • SAFETY PROTOCOL 4077 MUST BE OBSERVED PRIOR TO OPENING THIS COMPARTMENT
  • OR EQUIPMENT. SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT. SOMETIMES YOU DON'T
• 321 | ACCESS PANEL 32-2388
  • CONTAINS ACTIVE OPTICAL DATA NETWORK ELEMENTS. DO NOT INTERRUPT WITHOUT
  • AUTHORIZATION FROM OPERATIONS OFFICER. THERE WILL BE AN ANSWER, LET IT BE.
• 302 | ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS 01-1885
  • CONTAINS CRITICALITY-2 COMPONENTS FOR SECONDARY ENVIRONMENTAL SUPPORT
  • SYSTEMS. THE FORCE WILL BE WITH YOU, ALWAYS.
• 927 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SERVICE THIS MODULE WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION FROM THE
  • DUTY ENGINEERING OFFICER. TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!
• 047 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
  • CAUTION: OPERATING PROTOCOL 40-3722 REQUIRES FULL DISCONNECT FROM ALL
  • PRIMARY DATA FEEDS. WE'LL NEVER BE CAUGHT. WE'RE ON A MISSION FROM GOD.
• 855 | ACCESS PANEL 78-0067
  • REFER SERVICING TO QUALIFIED STARFLEET TECHNICIANS. NO USER SERVICEABLE PARTS
  • INSIDE. REMEMBER, NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE.
• 954 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND KILOMETERS PER SECOND. IT'S NOT JUST A GOOD
  • IDEA, IT'S THE LAW. YOUR ACTUAL MILEAGE MAY VARY, OF COURSE.
• 451 | AUXILIARY SYSTEMS 32-2398
  • CAUTION: OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR TO BE. A STITCH IN
  • TIME SAVES NINE. IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.

• 
  Gold on brown - three columns
• 
  Single column
• 
  Gold Variant - two columns
• 
  Brown variant
• 
  Brown Variant
• 
  Gold on red variant

Orphaned Labels (Unknown Origin)

This is a list of labels found on various auction sites and prop collection sites, that are orphaned from their main sheet.

• Found on White-on-Red TNG-era style labels.
  • 806 | Reserve Environmental Systems
    • 09813490812409812098123098123682173428992839289833453453453
    • 981234098349082304981230948123402973490283902842938
  • 927 | Auxiliary systems Panel 78-0067
    • 098134908124098120981230981236821734289928392898334534504533452
    • 96123409634082304981230948123402973490283902842938324543
  • 407 | Restricted Access (21166)
    • 09813490812409812098123098123682173420992839234930985938615984
    • 8812340983490823049812309481234029734902839020124883453453
• Found in White-on-Brown TNG-era style labels.
  • 806 | TERTIARY SUBSYSTEM 45-784
    • SAFETY PROTOCOL 4077 MUST BE OBSERVED PRIOR TO OPENING THIS COMPARTMENT
    • OR EQUIPMENT. SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT. SOMETIMES YOU DON'T
  • 302 | ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS 01-1865
    • CONTAINS CRITICALITY-2 COMPONENTS FOR SECONDARY ENVIRONMENTAL SUPPORT
    • SYSTEMS. SURELY YOU'RE JOKING, MISTER FEYNMAN.
  • 451 | Access Panel 32-2398
    • 08813480912469812098123098123682173428997839289833453453453
    • 59123409934908238493123094812340297349028390284293843523534545
  • 927 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
    • DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SERVICE THIS MODULE WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION FROM THE
    • DUTY ENGINEERING OFFICER. I CANNA CHANGE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, CAPTAIN!
  • 855 | ACCESS PANEL 09-0867
    • IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH. IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH. IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY
    • OR REMORSE OR FEAR. AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP... EVER
  • 954 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
    • ALL WARRANTIES EXPIRE UPON PAYMENT OF INVOICE. IF IT JAMS, FORCE IT.
    • IF IT BREAKS, IT NEEDED REPLACING ANYWAY.
  • 833 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
    • REFER SERVICING TO QUALIFIED TECHNICIANS. NO USER SERVICEABLE
    • PARTS INSIDE. IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.
• Found on Blue-on-Silver VOY-era style labels.
  • 451 | AUXILIARY SYSTEMS 32-2398
    • CAUTION: OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR TO BE. A STITCH IN
    • TIME SAVES NINE. IN SPACE, NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM.
  • 042 | ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS 01-1865
    • DON'T TUG ON SUPERMAN'S CAPE. DON'T SPIT INTO THE WIND. DON'T PULL THE
    • MASK OFF THE OLD LONE RANGER, AND YOU DON'T MESS AROUND WITH WENDY.
• Unconfirmed colour
  • 723 | Access Panel 32-2398
    • 08813480912469812098123098123682173428997839289833453453453
    • 59123409934908238493123094812340297349028390284293843523534545

• 
  Orphaned TNG-era labels
• 
  Orphaned TNG-era number label
• 
  Orphaned TNG-era number labels
• 
  VOY label on Science Lab console
• 
  Orphaned TNG-era Label
• 
  VOY label variant replacing JIM with WENDY
• 
  Label on DS9 Padd
• 
  Red Label on DS9 PADD
• 
  Terminator (1984)
• 
  Warranties
• 
  833 - Scream

Unknown 5-Label Page (Unusual Gold Sample)

Unusual Gold Capsule Sheet

These labels appeared on an unusual sample. It appears to be from the production, but with an un-brushed glittery gold backing. It's cut and printing quality is consistent with previous production-made samples, but the materials for the vinyl are peculiar. However, it also features a unique set of non-technobabble jokes that appear to be slight variations on the 5-row TNG-era stickers (#1). No other example of this text has been found yet.

• 855 | ACCESS PANEL 78-0067
  • ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE, AND ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN MERELY PLAYERS,THEY (typo intended)
  • HAVE THEIR EXITS AND THEIR ENTRANCES, AND ONE MAN IN HIS LIFE PLAYS MANY PARTS...

• 451 | AUXILIARY SYSTEMS 32-2398
  • DON'T FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. INSTRUCTIONS ARE BROKEN DOWN IN SMALL STEPS.
  • WHEN YOU MAKE SMALL STEPS, YOU BECOME A SMALLER PERSON.

• 042 | ENVIRONMENTAL SYSTEMS 01-1865
  • DON'T TUG ON SUPERMAN'S CAPE. DON'T SPIT INTO THE WIND. DON'T PULL THE
  • MASK OFF THE LONE RANGER, AND YOU DON'T MESS AROUND WITH WENDY OR KIM.

• 954 | ENGINEERING ACCESS ONLY
  • SAVE THE PLANET. SHOCK THE MONKEY. PASS THE BUCK. KEEP OFF THE GRASS.
  • SING A SONG. BANG A GONG. TAR AND FEATHER. STEAL THE SHOW.

• 302 | OPTICAL DATA NET SERVICE ACCESS
  • THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB IS A WOMAN. OPTIMISM IS THE RIGHT OUTLOOK TO
  • HAVE. PESSIMISM IS THE ENEMY. OPTIMISM CREATES POSSIBILITIES.